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This is a glum-ass post, so be forewarned.
I'm 49, and I really think that the dreaded man's mid-life crisis thing has hit. It's like all that I can focus on is my old yet still favorite computer game to the exclusion of pretty much all else outside of the normal functioning of life. I have pretty much lost interest in my collections, and my writing has fizzled to the point that I almost feel that I'm headed for another years-long break from it, however positive my productiviity has been over the last couple years. Heck, in that area I am so disappointed with myself I couldn't say. It really feels that I've actually regressed in the quality of my output, instead of progressing. It's still on my mind, but now it's cloaked by a wave of doubt to the point of nearly being smothered. Perhaps I just have to step back for a bit, but I'm afraid that would just be the first step to leaving writing altogether for another 10-year break.
I've been sick lately. My plan was to work hard on that Footprints story over the long 3-day weekend of 10/31 (in Nevada it was Nevada Day and a holiday) and plugging at it to have a rough done by now. It didn't happen. Then I picked up a clogging horrid flu that killed me last weekend, to the point of actually having to miss work. This thickened my head to the point I didn't want to think, much less create, and again, it didnt get done. So, my sorrows to Eric -- you won't see a story with my name on it this time. I like the idea I finally put together for it, and hope to actually write it out eventually. But it's not something that will happen by this Saturday.
Neither will my planned story to Clockwork Phoenix 2.
Neither will work on my sequel to Atakapa Sunset.
Neither will revising Rescuing Nelson for subbing to WotF.
Neither will getting back any motivation, inspiration, self-esteem or sense of self worth. Not by Saturday, and probably not for a bit after that. And yea, I do realize that this is a phase thing and will pass, but right now it's very hard to see past the muddle and depression to that.
Time to work. Later, all.
I'm 49, and I really think that the dreaded man's mid-life crisis thing has hit. It's like all that I can focus on is my old yet still favorite computer game to the exclusion of pretty much all else outside of the normal functioning of life. I have pretty much lost interest in my collections, and my writing has fizzled to the point that I almost feel that I'm headed for another years-long break from it, however positive my productiviity has been over the last couple years. Heck, in that area I am so disappointed with myself I couldn't say. It really feels that I've actually regressed in the quality of my output, instead of progressing. It's still on my mind, but now it's cloaked by a wave of doubt to the point of nearly being smothered. Perhaps I just have to step back for a bit, but I'm afraid that would just be the first step to leaving writing altogether for another 10-year break.
I've been sick lately. My plan was to work hard on that Footprints story over the long 3-day weekend of 10/31 (in Nevada it was Nevada Day and a holiday) and plugging at it to have a rough done by now. It didn't happen. Then I picked up a clogging horrid flu that killed me last weekend, to the point of actually having to miss work. This thickened my head to the point I didn't want to think, much less create, and again, it didnt get done. So, my sorrows to Eric -- you won't see a story with my name on it this time. I like the idea I finally put together for it, and hope to actually write it out eventually. But it's not something that will happen by this Saturday.
Neither will my planned story to Clockwork Phoenix 2.
Neither will work on my sequel to Atakapa Sunset.
Neither will revising Rescuing Nelson for subbing to WotF.
Neither will getting back any motivation, inspiration, self-esteem or sense of self worth. Not by Saturday, and probably not for a bit after that. And yea, I do realize that this is a phase thing and will pass, but right now it's very hard to see past the muddle and depression to that.
Time to work. Later, all.