But see, with bottled water there are a number of other odd and unusual properties. First, and the one that really amazes me, is how they take perfectly fine, pure mountain water to bottle, and then add impurities! Haven't you ever seen that "minerals added for taste" thing? Are THESE the compounds that are going to expire, much like our poor, unstable salt? Or rather, are they a horrid additive that will addict us to this warped fluid, this morphing of the great liquid supplied by Gaea to sustain and promote life?

Whoa. Beware!